Understanding Your Beautiful Worth as a Person and the Beauty of Melancholy
In this article, I talk about the importance of healing, understanding self-worth, and the beauty of melancholy.
Hello, adults reading this. Mainly, this is for you to read. There are a lot of us young people in this world, like me, who think we have it figured out. Newsflash: we don’t! Not even a little. So forgive me for my naïveté and sentimentalism because I am doing my best, and this is who I am. These are simply the musings of a 19-year-old girl.
As I grow and I learn, I have come to the realization that life is difficult. Nothing is perfect is a massive understatement. We all have visions of what the future may bring. That is being human. Things happen and sometimes it does not happen the way you wanted. You give your all and it just does not work out. Whatever it might be, you can get through it. I look up to this woman named Sorelle Amore so much because of what she has gone through and how she has gotten herself through so much hurt. Heartbreak. Sadness, beauty, and joy. And everything else in between.
Something Sorelle has helped me realise is this: the loss of a relationship is not synonymous with failure. Maybe that relationship involved someone who is a family member, a friend, or someone you are in love with. Maybe it works out with that person. If it does, that is beautiful too. But if it does not, maybe there will always be a place in your heart for them. Just let go of the bad parts, and let yourself feel it all. Still let love in your heart, even if that means you have to be alone. The world still offers so much for you to see and explore. If not in the world, then in yourself. You have a fire in your soul—a burning fire of love, emotions, imperfections, passions, flaws and compassion—that hasn’t gone out. Time and time again, you come back out on the other side. You were always whole.
And most importantly, you are enough. A million times over, in a million different universes. Through the chaos of the world, it is sometimes undeniable that suffering is the default of our human condition. But you are still worthy of everything you desire. Ultimately, I know this because I’ve had the tragically beautiful experience of loving and being loved in return. This world may be chaos, but my God. Most people are utterly resplendent, and they are blessings. I truly mean that. One such person has inspired the entire composition of these very feelings.
So of course, I don’t have anything of this “life” thing figured out because my story is still being written, even through the disappointment, pain, and hurt. I am young, and still learning about myself and everyone around me. Always, I will be a work in progress, but that should not be synonymous with unworthiness. Regardless of where you are in life, I think this can be a reminder for you too. Even when I am a 29, 39, and then an 89-year-old woman (all God-willing), I expect that even a little bit of this still holds true. But if not, for the first time in my life, I am now willing to accept even the most difficult forms of change—all made possible through forgiveness, love, and self-acceptance.
“The charity of things. This is what constitutes my world, as harbour and as shelter, together with my love, the friendship of a few rare people, and this library of the departed. For me it is enough. That we may know how to care: everything beautiful is broken or anonymous.” –Herbert Pföstl, On My Sanctuary Space
In more ways than one, it’s fair for me to wonder that maybe all of our stories are still being written, too.
—Essay by Samantha Fuchsgruber
Date // 21. June 2022
@LockheartArdenPublishing
